On Tuesday I taught a Pre-K class. I've taught this class a couple of times before but only the morning class (Pre-K is only a couple of hours per class so there are two per day). The afternoon class had a little boy in there that stole my heart! I wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home with me. He reminded me a lot of Orin and everything about his was just precious! I'm looking forward to seeing my new little friend the next time I teach that class.
Grace had basketball tryouts last week and unfortunately didn't make the team. She was disappointed but not like she was when she didn't make the volleyball team. I'm sure I sound totally biased but I really believe that she isn't making the team because the coaches pick who they like. Grace got in trouble last year with the same coach and they've been awful to her since then. There is no reason that she shouldn't have made the volleyball team, she had been playing for years and is really good. I tried not to be "that Mom" until I went to a game and saw how awful most of the girls who made the B team were. It really made me furious. Chad and I met with the coaches and they can make excuses all day but it was clear that they just weren't fans of Grace and she never got a real shot of making it. I'm going to request that other un-bias parties (staff of the school) watch tryouts next year. Ugh. Anyway, done with that rant.
We had a parent teacher conference with Orin's teacher on Friday that went really well! When Orin went into Kindergarten I was very nervous about his learning ability. I didn't know if his Autism was going to work for him or hinder him from traditional learning. He is doing so well and all of the concern I had is totally gone. He is doing great in math, science, reading and staying on track. It was wonderful to hear! Our school's SPED lead was nice enough to entertain me and attend the meeting too and had nothing but great things to say about Orin's progress. I left feeling great about his academic future!
We went to Houston this past weekend for a family friend's granddaughter's Quinceanera. It was the second one we've ever been to, it was nice, our kids had a blast! During our short trip I got to visit my brother, John. It was the first time I've seen him in a year. I've really missed him and I hated having to leave. I hope it isn't that long before we see each other again. He has some exciting things coming up for himself, if it all works out for him I'll fill everyone in but I don't want to jinx it ;)
On Sunday morning we visited with my Grandma and Aunt at breakfast and spent some more time at my Grandma's house before we had to head back home. My Grandma is 84 so we are taking every chance to spend time with her that we can. Losing my mom when she was 54 definitely taught us to spend time with those that mean the most to us at every chance. I never expected to lose my mom so early and don't want to take everyone I still have left for granted.
When we got home from Houston my Dad and his girlfriend, Marguerite, came to the house and visited for a little while, we invited them to join us for dinner. This was the first time our kids met Marguerite. It was important to me to meet her first (breakfast last week) before I invited her to meet my kids and I'm glad that I have that policy in place. I don't like people coming in and out of my kids lives, it isn't stable and I don't think it is fair to my kids. I'm very picky about who comes around my family so it is a pretty big deal. Marguerite and all three kids got along really well and it was a great visit. I officially think of her as part of our family (pretty quick for me!) and am happy that she is around. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her and my Dad!
Speaking of being picky about who is around my kids and people coming in and out of their lives I want to get something off of my chest. I was debating writing about it at all, but it is part of my life and I'm ready to let it go and this is therapeutic for me. There are two couples in my life that I'm not a fan of. I say that they're in my life because I'm related to them and don't get a choice about that part. One is probably out of my life forever and the others have a chance to maybe one day be a part of our lives in a positive way again. The first is my former step-dad and the woman he married this past summer. He has been part of my life since I was six, he was a really great step-dad and we were very close until the summer of 2014 when he moved to live with his girlfriend who he married this past summer. As soon as he moved with this woman (they're the same age, she never married before or had kids and is too old to now) he became a totally different person. He used to be a lot fun and goofy, but he isn't anymore. He isn't the same person and it's very strange and sad. When he moved in with her he started to cut all of his kids out of his life. It feels like he is pretending he didn't have a family before he met her and that he is starting his life over. I don't know for sure because we don't talk anymore but that is how my brothers and I feel. It's the strangest thing ever! He was such a great "dad" and grandfather to my kids and then all of a sudden he was just gone. He doesn't acknowledge our birthdays, holidays or anything, its like we never existed to him. My kids have been devastated over this loss. They lost my mom and now because of some woman, they lost their grandpa. I don't understand it and never will. I truly believe he and his new wife are jealous of our happiness and success. It's laughable but in a very sad way. I've made a very conscious choice to stop reaching out to him. He doesn't return my texts, calls or emails anyway. I'm sick of chasing a relationship with my "dad" since he wants to pretend we don't exist. He is doing the same thing to both of my brothers, they feel orphaned by our former family. It really made me mad for while but now I really pity him. It must be a very lonely life. He likes to live off of everyone else's accomplishments and it is to the point that it's kind of funny. If you ask him what he does he will tell you about his dad and not about himself. When we still talked and I asked him about his then girlfriend he was quick to tell me about her family's jobs and accomplishments, but not hers. It was very odd. He also went from telling me how proud he was of me and Chad and our family to constantly cutting us down and telling us that we weren't good enough. He seemed to be grabbing at straws to find unfounded reasons to make himself feel good about cutting ties with all three of his kids and all three of his grandchildren. He went from calling me several times per day to literally acting like he never knew me. I truly believe it is because his new wife doesn't like that he had a happy life before her. He and my mom were married for almost 21 years when she died but now that he has this new person in his life, he constantly bashes my mom, who is dead and can not defend herself. Who does that?! I don't think he realizes how awful that makes him look to be bashing a dead person and a dead person that he stayed married to for over 20 years. I don't know how he doesn't see that anyone that hears him is just floored at his heartlessness. He has turned into a different person, a nasty person and a person that I am now very grateful is out of mine and my family's lives. I don't need his negativity and am now relieved to let him go. It is a weight off of my chest and after writing this I'll probably never talk about him again. He was part of my past and childhood (no matter how much he tries to pretend he wasn't) but is not a part of my future. Again, this is all my take on things and how I feel, but he isn't man enough or enough of a dad to have a conversation with me and tell me any different. One very good thing about this whole experience is that it has made me appreciate how much my real dad has stepped up and become an even more amazing dad and grandpa than my former step-dad could have ever hoped to be. My dad is so great with my kids and lets me know constantly that he is here for me, Chad, our kids and that he does everything he can to spend time with us. He is awesome! I'm also very happy to still have a great relationship with the rest of my family on my former step-dad's side, they're all incredible people and I love having them in my life!
The second couple have no children yet, but maybe one of these days if they become parents they'll realize the errors in their behavior. One of them told me that their relation to someone doesn't dictate how they feel about that individual. I think it is such a dumb statement. If I didn't have to be related to this person I would never have anything to do with them, I would cut them from my life and not think twice about it, but since I do have to be related to them I had put effort into our relationship. I'm done trying at this point because currently this couple adds nothing positive to mine or my family's lives, but I haven't given up hope for the future after they have some time to mature and see the bigger picture of what family really is.
I already feel better getting all of that off of my chest! I don't dwell on negativity or negative people and really feel like I've done a good job at getting people out of my life that I don't feel add a positive quality, I've really never been happier! I feel so lucky to have such an amazing little family with such a hard working husband who I love more and more every day. I love and appreciate the great qualities in each of my friends and am enjoying my life to the fullest every day!
I'm subbing for a SPED teacher tomorrow and really looking forward to it! I was a little upset about the timing at first because Abby has a field trip and I was sad to miss it, but luckily Chad isn't traveling this week and is able to go with her. I'm sure he'll be answering emails when he gets a free second but I'm so glad he can go with her, I know they'll make some fun memories together tomorrow! Chad is volunteering at the elementary school for a short time on Wednesday and then we'll be meeting Abby and Orin during their lunch times for the school's Thanksgiving celebration. I'm subbing another Pre-K class on Thursday (not the same class with my new friend) and then on Friday evening all five of us are going to the hockey game for Quest night. We're all looking forward to doing that together!
I feel so great about getting that weight off of my chest and look forward to continuing to move on with my life minus the dead weight that I'm letting go of! ;)
Until next time, count your blessings! :)
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